we teach our children as we were taught –don’t say mean or negative things to or about people –it will only lead to others judging you in a bad light. but the reality is we need to look at the thoughts we have before anything comes out of our mouths. we need to judge ourselves before others judge us. we need to think about our thoughts. we need to pause a thought before it goes out the door to the world. yes, it is the old cliche again –think before you speak. but i am talking about going deeper than that. think before you think. you need to say to yourself –“why am i thinking this negative thought about this person” –well –we all know that instinctively we can’t help this from happening –it is human nature to think negative thoughts about someone, even if they are your best friend. but it is more likely to occur if it is not your best friend. so we need to hone in on that point –we need to think of everyone as our “best friend” to deflect the natural inclination to go negative. for example –you see a person who is rude –think first –“this is my best friend” –that will halt the negative thought from starting –then you move on and your mind is clearer of negative thoughts. yeah this could be a complicated approach, but something to think about. on the other hand, just think before you think. don’t let the negative thought form at all -stop it in it’s tracks -say to yourself –“i will not think this”. I’m starting to try it and it seems to work.