Tag: life

this is part of the Toby Code – “never give up, never quit”.  and it is part of a great quote from Harriet Beecher Stowe – “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

Stowe’s mindset is the key to success.  what i have found that if you keep doing something and you do not stop doing that something, you will eventually find success.  but the problem is that so many people, including myself, eventually stop doing that something, especially if they do not find success fast enough.  so what happens is you end up with a life full of trying things, but never succeeding or finishing the job.  this then leads to long days in your older years full of small bits of regret.  sure, these are small bits of regret, so most of the time you will be happy.  but, if you really want to go to your grave satisfied, then you need to concentrate on sticking to something until it plays out.  this is the hardest thing in the world to do.  why would you keep doing something that yields no immediate or quick results?  you wouldn’t.  99% of the people in the world would stop doing that something and would move on to their next fancy.  but if you do keep pushing yourself to keep doing that something no matter what –even when you can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel -even when you think “why am I still doing this” –then you will be rewarded.  you will find out that the journey is really the main part of this whole thing–not the end result.  but the real key is to think about the end of Stowe’s quote – “the tide will turn”.  when you are ready to give up – don’t.  because that will be the moment that the tide will turn and all your efforts will start to be rewarded.  this is what every person who has reached their dreams will tell you -just like Stowe has told us and all future generations to come.

when i see older people doing very chill activities, like golfing or walking in the middle of the day, i first think why have they stopped pursuing new goals, why are they content not driving themselves to reach higher heights anymore? i don’t get it because i can’t possibly fathom stopping the pursuit of success at every turn.  how can one stop everything and stare at the sea for hours.  how can one wake up early, eat dinner early and go to bed early?  how can one not talk all the time and not drive fast to get to their destination sooner?  how can one not be on the phone all the time and stop going at a frantic pace from one event to the next?  but then 1 day, when i am frantic in my mid 40s, it all comes to me.  they don’t do all this stuff anymore because they don’t have to.  life has slowed down, kids have grown up, keeping up with the jones’ doesn’t matter anymore, caring what others think doesn’t matter anymore.  they have been there, done that.  no need to stress over these trivial things, no need to rush anymore.  the only care is living the last years the best that you can.  you rushed around like a chicken with your head cut off for 20, 30 years –you are tired, you are done with that, you can now stare at the sea and not feel like you are missing anything, because you are not missing anything.  you didn’t want to miss any party at 20, you didn’t want to miss any event at 40, and you didn’t care what you missed at 60.  I get it.

looking back is an interesting hobby –one that develops more and more as the years go by.  you can start to analyze the different phases of your life by looking back.  you can see that the early years up until 18 are like watching an old movie in your mind.  you see yourself playing sports, meeting friends, having birthday parties, going to school, being mean to others, being nice to others, fighting with your parents in the teen years –but mostly having fun with the only stress being school and social settings.  then by the 20’s, your life is full of so many events –mostly good times that now seem so long ago and you wonder wow –things seemed to move slow then but now they seem to have happened in a flash.  you wonder where the 20’s went and why you did not relish the moment more.  the 30’s are also filled with so many events –but you do start to become more aware of your life –where it has been, where it is going, how will you end up, what have you done, what can you still do.  you do take in the moment more –but still gone in a flash when you look back on it.  by the 40s, the stress starts to build –stress about kids, work, not enough time to complete all your goals.  you might find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and having your fears fighting to keep you awake.  it is truly a challenging time period where you start to question everything you have done –has it been good enough.  i can see how a mid-life crisis can develop if you let your fears get the best of you.  you have to fight more than ever to keep your grip on life.  get through this time period and more glory will come after.  it is so hard for the human mind to get a grip on this whole life thing –to try and grab hold of one brief moment is difficult to do.  we can only think this deeply on the subject very briefly –otherwise it will consume you and affect your actions in life.  you need to keep on track, keep doing what you are doing –enjoying every moment the best you can –and knowing that some things you cannot control –like life and time seeming to move so fast when you look back on life.  it is ok to acknowledge these ideas –but just continue to live the best way you can –without losing your grip too much.

when you are young, you are bold.  this is obvious.  but you are bold because you are young.  you don’t know that much about life or the world, so you take bold steps naturally.  you do not stop and think –you just do it.  you do it because it is fun.  you do it because it is something different to do.  you do it because it is there to do.  you do it because you have no responsibility to anyone else.  why not do it and experience the world in a bold fashion.  this bold mindset is what can push someone to go off the common path and be different.  it can cause you to make an impact early in life.  it can cause you to make change in the world.  being bold can set you on a bold path in life – it can affect your life dramatically.  but oftentimes, the bold steps we take when we are younger are small bold steps.  they let you experience the world more but do not necessarily change the world in any way.  as time goes on, the boldness dies down and you settle into your life of fixed habits and routine.  this is also the natural way and is the way of self preservation.  but what we miss deep in our soul is to be bold again.  to use the past experience of being bold to still be bold and to still take the bold steps necessary to feed the never-ending desire to make bold change in your life and in the world.  the hardest thing to do when you are older is to keep the boldness alive in your every day life – to keep pushing the limit by being bold.  it is even hard to know that you must continue to be bold to be happy.  so, stop and think about being bold once in awhile.  look and see where you can be bold to keep life interesting.  it is another great challenge in life to be forever bold.  but to live life to the fullest, you must be bold always.  stop the routine right now, right this very minute and be bold.

change is coming.  it is always coming –every day, every week, every month, every year.  and sometimes you know in your gut that change is near –that bigger change is near.  you must not be afraid of this change.  you must realize that this change is meant to happen.  you must not fear what happens when this change occurs.  you must know that no matter what change happens, you are always prepared because change cannot affect who you are –it can only affect what happens to you.  who you are will always stand above the change.  this will help keep you grounded and in control when the change happens.  this will help move you through the change and into the next part of your life –which will come after the change.  change always requires extra work on your part.  you need to think more outside the box.  you need to think outside your routine.  you need to rely more on your inherent survival skills.  your natural reactions to the change will guide you through the early part of the change process –you don’t have to worry about how you will react to change immediately.  change is good because it forces you to grow stronger and to learn new things.  embrace change and do not be afraid.

markers are spots throughout your life that you can look back on to remember the good times.  these would be events or trips that you plan specifically to have fun and enjoy life.  the markers are the times when you step away from the every day normal routine and do something that brings a thrill to your soul –putting goosebumps on your skin.  these are times that you will never forget –times that you anticipate with baited breath –times that make you say “wow’!  you know what i mean –it is that girl’s trip or guy’s trip that you make where all daily worries fade away for a few days –where you rip it up and toss caution into the wind –when you stop and smell the roses every minute.  you need these markers in life or you really won’t be living a life.  markers get you through the daily BS –they get you to the next year, the next week, the next day.  make room for marker events in your life otherwise you will live a dull life and die a slow, boring death.  you need markers throughout life and you definitely need them at the end so that you can look back and say “yes”.  get busy planning and living.

there are so many instances in life where we come up with what we think are great ideas. we think that we need to act on these ideas.  we think that we need to fulfill our destiny by acting on these ideas.  we think that these ideas will take us away from the mundane lives we live and to the place where we will love what we do.  these are our dreams and we want to make them come true.  we see our life being full and satisfied.  we see a rainbow at the end of the tunnel.  we see closure in life being achieved.  but the problem is we don’t act on these thoughts.  we don’t act on these ideas.  we don’t act on these dreams.  we don’t act because we are afraid.  we don’t act because we are comfortable in our life and we don’t want to risk this level of comfort we have achieved.  we don’t act because we want the dream to come true, but don’t quite believe it is the path we should take.  we have doubt about going out on a limb.  so we don’t act.  we just dream.  and then we get old and die.  dream unfulfilled, but comfort kept intact.  what is more important at the end of the road –staying comfortable or taking risk and possibly fulfilling dream?  most will choose former –what will you choose?

facebook!  who gave you permission to record my life?  who are you?  how did you get involved in my life?  you act as a meeting place where friends and family can gather.  you put up the front of being a familiar place -like my old high school, my old neighborhood, my old house –so very comfortable and soothing.  this is all a front to record my life and pull me in to present my life to my friends and family–but also to you.  you are watching my every move.  you are recording my every moment.  you are now in my life and are actually recording my life.  stop recording my life.  you should not be recording my life.  who gave you permission?  because i use your platform to talk to friends, you think you can take my data and record it back to me.  i will record my own life and i will leave my own mark the way i want to leave it.  i will not conform the story of my life to your parameters.  where is the button to turn off this “timeline” thing?  this is your master plan.  gather, gather, gather –then publish my life and billions of others.  get out of our lives and stop recording now — pause the program.