always. being calm is a state of mind. being calm is a way of life. being calm is one of the hardest things to master in life. one might never reach a state of complete calmness, but one should always strive to reach this state. even when you are striving you will practice being more calm. to remain calm under all circumstances is to allow the events play out in life they way they are meant to be played out. to remain calm is to admit that your destiny is already planned and that to remain anything but calm is a mistake that you must try to correct. you must be calm in the storms of life. no matter what goes on around you, no matter how hopeless things can seem, no matter if you appear to be going nowhere, no matter if you doubt what you are doing, no matter if you don’t understand why things are happening or not happening the way you thought they would happen – you must remain calm. you must think about this all the time so that it becomes second nature. you must keep moving and you must remain calm while you keep moving through life. to be calm on the inside will allow you to appear calm on the outside. others will approach you and they will try to upset your state of being calm. this will be the main challenge to your efforts to remain calm. you must then be as calm as you can ever wish to be. you must take things in stride and trust the bigger picture that is in motion. it is easy to remain calm when you are alone in a room. the hard part is to remain calm when others come into your orbit. if you can remain calm when challenged by others, then you can get closer to the state of complete calmness. practice being calm and be ready for the challenges to come – because they will come. your state of being calm determines your whole direction in life.
Tag: life
grouchy when older
no one knows what a person has gone through in life except that person. when you come across an older person and that person is grouchy you wonder why are they grouchy. you might know some things about that person and this will give you an idea of why they might be grouchy when they are older. this person is obviously unhappy and they have seen their life as not going the way they wanted or expected. they then become grouchy all of the time and it affects the people around them. but because they are older, you let most of it go. but it does start to put a lasting stain on all of the good memories you have had with that person over the years. you try to talk to them – to tell them to not worry so much and to enjoy the time they have left. but in reality you can’t convince them to be happy – there is no use in trying because their mind is already set into being sad, upset, worrisome and grouchy. they might be happy here and there but it is too late to change their mindset – it has been in the making for decades and has now come out to the world as grouchy. it is sad to see but you can’t really do anything about it except hold your tongue and try not to agitate them. you can also learn from them. this is a lesson to you – that if you are lucky to reach the ripe old age that they have reached remember to not be grouchy – to not diminish all the strong family relationships you have in place – and have worked so hard at over the years. don’t be that grouch. enjoy your loved ones and stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about only you all the time. think about the younger people in your family and be happy for them. stop being selfish and stop being grouchy. stop it right now before it is too late.
now and later
there are so many things in life that are obvious and so many things that are not obvious. one thing that is obvious and overstated is that we have to live in the moment- we have to live now and not live for what we want to happen in the future. this is because we are only capable of living now and we better live now because we don’t know when now will end – and not knowing when now will end only makes living in the now even more important. so with that understanding – I want to put one more layer on top. it is simply this – live in the now like there is no tomorrow, but still keep your dreams of the future alive – don’t let those hopes/wishes/ideas go – you need them to carry on anyway. only know that one day your future dreams may connect with the life you are living today. that connection could happen and then you could feel complete – you could feel fulfilled. or that connection might not happen, but you could still feel good about the life you have lived because you chose to live for the moment and not live for the future. so either way – whether you connect the present with the future or you do not – just live for today and the result will still be good.
don’t overthink it
you did it, you said it, you wrote it – this is what you thought at the time – it is done – it is over – you can’t change it – don’t overthink it. you don’t know how the other person will perceive it. you meant good. stop analyzing every word. stop going back in your mind over and over. should you change this, should you go back and say this, should you call them, should you re-write what you wrote – just stop. they are busy with their own lives and with their own problems. they actually didn’t think twice about what you said, wrote, did – they are too consumed in their own minds, in their own lives. they are not thinking about you – they are thinking about themselves. they are in their own world with their own things going on. they are walking down the street right now thinking about their life. they are not thinking about you walking down the street. they are not thinking where are you and what are you thinking. they are at the center of their world and you are at the center of your world. so don’t go back and rethink and overthink – don’t go back at all. just say it, write it, do it – and move on because no one is overthinking about what you said, did or wrote – except you. so don’t overthink it because it doesn’t matter.
not everyone
not everyone is going to like you. not everyone wants to be your friend. not everyone is going to talk to you. not everyone is going to smile at you. some will know right away that they don’t like you. all of this will mess with your mind. you will try to understand why someone doesn’t like you. you will try to talk to them. you will try to be their friend. but they don’t want to be your friend. this is life. this is how things go. this is reality. this is something you must understand and move on. you might struggle for years in your mind. it will cause you to lose sleep. it will cause you to stress out. you have to get past this. you have to understand that you don’t really want to be everyone’s friend. you don’t really have to be involved with every event. besides the fact that it is impossible to try and spend every moment of your life being friends with everyone you meet – it is not a healthy state of mind. it is not the way things are supposed to be. you are not supposed to be everyone’s friend. you are not supposed to like everyone. not everyone is supposed to like you. but you are supposed to grow up one day and live with this fact and realize that it is a good thing that not everyone likes you and wants to be your friend. be happy with the friends you have. be happy with the people that have chosen you to be their friend. stop looking at the other side, the other group – and look at what you have in front of you. be nice to people but move on. make this happen in your mind. work on this mindset.
enjoy status quo
we all want more – it is human nature. we continue to look to the future to solve our current problems. we think things will be better in the future. we fear change, but deep down we want change – we want change for the better. we know change always comes but we fight against it because we get comfortable in the current routine – the current status quo. but even though we fight change – we don’t actually embrace the status quo. we don’t often appreciate what we have right now. this is a big mistake. right now in your life many things are going well. these are things you take for granted and don’t appreciate. these are things you will only appreciate when they are gone. right now people you love are still alive. right now your family is doing ok. right now no one you love is in the hospital. right now you have friends that care for you. right now you are healthy. right now you are able to pay your bills. right now you can walk down the street and look at the birds in the trees. right now your status quo is good. yes, you have struggles and you look to the future to erase those struggles. but as you look ahead, don’t ignore what you have in the current status quo. enjoy the current status quo because it might be better than the future status quo.
it doesn’t matter
so don’t sweat it. sometimes you debate what you are going to do today or what choice you have to make or what decision you have to make. but it doesn’t matter because whatever you are supposed to do will happen exactly the way it is supposed to happen. in other words – you already know what you are going to do or what decision you are going to make – these things have already been decided by you and your gut. when you hear about an event and you start to think about if you will go – the second you hear about it – you have instantaneously made your decision. your gut already knows yes or no – and you immediately know yes or no – you hear the answer in the back of your mind – but most of the time you blow right past it and you start debating yes or no – you go through this whole drawn out process – should i go or should i not go. stop stressing on these decisions because your gut already gave you the answer – so just take that answer and don’t sweat the results because your gut knows what is the right choice and what is the wrong choice. and by knowing this simple fact – you will save yourself unnecessary stress in life – and you will worry less about 1 more area in your life -and you will soon know that what you miss or what others think about your choices doesn’t matter in life. what matters is what is in front of you right here and right now – and who the important people are in your life -and the time you spend with them – because at the end of the day and at the end of your life – that’s all you got and that’s all you ever really had.
hang in there
you have to hang in there even when you don’t want to. you have to put aside all negative feelings and just do your job. you have to do things in life that you don’t want to do at the time. this is what is on your table right now – so smile and do it. to keep things on track, you have to bite your tongue and not say a word. people are counting on you and you must keep being there for them – for the people that pay your bills and for your family. this is along the lines of never giving up until the last moment when going on is not an option. this is a big part of life – doing things that you don’t want to do. if you hang in there and do what you have to do – at the highest level – then all things will come full circle and the days will eventually get better – but only because you did not give up and because you did what needed to be done. hang in there and do it.
cake
it is true – you can’t have your cake and eat it too. sure, you can try – but it is not advised. you can run it through your mind many ways in which you can have your cake, etc. – and you can come up with a solution most of the time. but in each of those solutions to have your cake, etc. – you inevitably hinder or hurt something or someone else. it will always be at someone’s expense when you attempt this. this will burn a bridge, leave a very negative impression and give you bad karma – it will come back around. so you need to make a choice – the cake or eating it. don’t be greedy – make a choice and live with it. the choice you make will always be better than trying to have both.
options
always have options. you must have options. you must think about options. you must plan for the unexpected or the expected. keep other options going. always tell people that you are open to other options. do not close any doors that could be a possible option. if you have options, you can then feel more calm – you can feel more at ease – knowing there are other options that you can choose if needed. never trust anyone 100% except your family and close friends. if you keep some doubt in your mind about your current situation, then you will create options. options are good. options are the keys to long-term success. options keep your train running – keep you on the path, keep the lights on, keep the family safe. if you do not have options, start to think about what could be options. you do not have to proactively search for options. you just have to keep your ears open – you have to keep your door ajar. continue to focus on your current work, but also be open to options. options allow you to move from one lily pad to the next in an easy, seamless way. have an option, have a lily pad.