don’t overanalyze the relationships that you are in – especially your main relationship with your wife, husband, significant other. if you overanalyze every little thing that is said or every little thing that happens in the relationship – then you will not have that relationship much longer. so often we wear down the people we love with continuous analyzation – this happens all the time and it leads to many break-ups. the other person is there because you love them and they love you – for who you are and for who they are. they are not there for you to analyze them. yes, you can question things. yes, you can disagree. yes, you can dispute things. but, no, you cannot analyze them over and over. you cannot analyze everything they say and do. this is not the way a relationship should be. stop overanalyzing them right now – or the end will come. they put up with your continuous analyzation because they love you. but one day they will take no more and it will be over. stop yourself from asking too many questions and from overanalyzing everything. stop yourself. don’t overanalyze.
Tag: life
daily happiness
you must have daily happiness to get through life. you must have things in every day that you look forward to. you must have at least 1 thing per day that you look forward to. this is key to getting through life relatively happy. it can be eating lunch, it can be watching a tv show, it can be doing a workout or taking a run, it can be reading a book, it can be seeing someone, it can be helping someone, it can be the drive home, it can be doing things at work – it can be any of these things. but the important thing is that you have at least 1 thing to look forward to – that you enjoy doing – that gets you from one day to the next. if you have nothing to look forward to each day – then you must deliberately put something on your schedule that you know you want to do and you must do that thing every day. human nature says that you have naturally figured this out already – but if you are in a rut and don’t have this figured out – go figure it out now – right now. waiting and mulling through life makes no sense. why are you here – but to enjoy some things in life – and to enjoy some things in life every day. do it now.
close your mouth sometimes
why do you continue to open your mouth in social settings and say stupid things. this is a problem that we all face. things just come out when in conversation and then you later think – why did i say that. you might talk trash about another person or say something that will upset the person you are talking to. you need to learn to keep your mouth closed and not say everything you are thinking. i get it – you want to keep the conversation going. you want to keep the conversation interesting – so you fill it up with things best left unsaid. foot in mouth over and over. it is very hard to learn how not to put your foot in your mouth. but in casual conversation, just tow the line – take the high road – keep it clean – tell yourself over and over – don’t talk trash, don’t say what will hurt others, don’t gossip. you need to constantly remind yourself – don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it. you will feel better and you will be a better person. this is one of the fundamental things in life that we all deal with – but others will start to evolve and will learn not to open their mouth all the time. on the other hand – don’t be a staring mute with an air of superiority – that is actually worse. so stay in the middle and learn to close your mouth sometimes. do it, do it, do it!
you must give in
after time, after you get older – there are some things you must stop fighting about. you must give in and stop unnecessary fighting with your spouse. your old self says keep fighting for your point. your old self keeps pushing you to talk about the budget and talk about what things cost. stop doing this. if you need something, buy it. there is no need to quote the budget as an excuse. just give in before the fight and buy it. you need it, buy it. stop useless fighting. just get in your car, drive and buy it. why fight about what you need. why go down a path of fighting over something you need to buy – something you need for the house or the family. it has to happen whether you fight about it or not. just give in and do it. believe it or not – this is evolving even though it feels like you are being broken down. you are not giving up – you are giving in to the inevitable – without all the fuss you used to go through. you have seen the light and it is a shorter path to happiness and less fighting. realize there is no use in fighting over certain things – just say it sounds good, give in and move on. this is another level of understanding yourself that you have reached. congrats, you found the path forward. give in and grow up.
nothing you can do
you know how things happen all the time. these are things that come up and cause you worry, trouble, money, fixing, cleaning, etc. and you know how they never really go away. you might get a pause here and there. but then bam! down goes the fridge. time to buy new clothes. you need that new car. sprinklers broken. get your nails done. buy those school photos. need a family trip. the AC just went out. you got stuck with extra tixs to a game. time to pay for braces. all that money going to college savings. the water bill jumped up. new tires for safety. you went over your monthly data plan. halloween costumes. spring break coming up. buy that gift for another bday party. the unexpected wedding invite – write that check for the new couple. you have always fretted about all of these things that never seem to end. but then one day you realize that they never will end until your final day here. so what is the point of getting upset. just accept it – now that you realize it – and your life will be easier. you will lose less sleep. there is nothing you can do, so relax and accept this fact. clear your mind for other things.
the beat down
we have all been beaten down by someone at some point in our lives. this is not a physical beat down, but a mental, emotional beat down. to be beaten down is to harass, subdue, or crush the spirit of – as defined in the dictionary. these defined words are quite accurate. people can crush your spirit, they can harass you, they can subdue you – they can make you not care as much as you normally would about a relationship, a task or a job. we have all felt this way on the job. your opinion doesn’t matter – just do what we say and we will crush your spirit in the meantime. keep doing your job, but do it better because what you are doing is not enough. why do we continue to take this beat down – because we need the money, we need the job, we are too lazy to look for another job, we think things will get better, we think the company will hit the big time one day and we will all benefit – but we just have to endure the beat down to get there. many could not do what you do. they would have walked out on day 2. but you can take the beat down. you have learned to accept it because you have another life outside of work and that life keeps you going – it keeps you happy – but the beat down can occasionally spill into your happy life, causing some problems – but not enough to affect it too much – not enough to quit. you actually like what you are doing at work – but you must endure the beat down to stay there. sometimes you want to quit – sometimes they want to fire you – but it doesn’t happen and you keep going – day after day, week after week, month after month – and then year after year. you get used to it – they get used to you. it becomes normal – but it is not normal. you do learn how to cope better – you do learn how to be patient – you do learn how to be calm. that is all good – but don’t let the beat down break your spirit – it can crush it but not break it. you need to get through at the end – stronger, wiser – and with the same zest for life. you will endure the beat down as long as you are supposed to endure it – and not one day longer. all results will be good because the next phase won’t have the beat down. this is your time to endure the beat down – so suck it up, evolve, and move on.
no certainty
there is no certainty that you will be alive tomorrow. we all know this, but we don’t think about this concept all the time. we don’t dwell on the fact that we will all die at some point in the future. and why would you dwell on this. you wouldn’t and you shouldn’t. but we are reminded on a regular basis that people die all of the time. and as we grow older and as we know more people directly or indirectly – we will know more and more people who will die. we wake up some days and are slapped in the face with another death of someone we know. it is especially a shock if that person is younger. if that person is a child or teenager or even in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s – it is a grave shock that we can barely comprehend. we don’t know why this would happen or how it could happen – but it happens and it will never stop happening. you might go awhile between deaths, but they will eventually come again. all we can do is pray for the family affected and pray that it will not happen to your family. but we ultimately have no control over when it will happen. this is why we have to live for now. we have to look long and hard at our loved ones. we have to take it all in. we have to try and pause the present. we have to let things go. we have to forgive. we have to stop fighting. we have to enjoy each other. we have to do this and we have to do that. we have to just be. we have to move on and move forward. we have to stop analyzing everything. we have to be thankful for what we have and not be jealous of what others have. we have to be comfortable in our own skin. stop thinking so much and just live. another death will come and you must think about living your life now – because one day someone will hear about your death. live for what you have now. that is all you have or will ever have. now.
the arnold lesson
there are many reasons why benedict arnold did what he did. but one of the key reasons was his need for money. he was tight for money, he had debt piling up, he could barely provide for his family, he was desperate and stressed out. he didn’t see a way out of his troubles – he only saw everything closing in around him. he started to think like a desperate man – looking to do anything to get back on his feet fast. he was not patient. he was not tolerant. he was not loyal. he was not faithful. he was not trustworthy. he was not stable. he was not steady. he was not logical. he was not reasonable. he turned against everything he believed to get out of trouble fast. and this is the key lesson that arnold provides to the rest of us. we hear of tragedy, desperation and failure every day. these are things that have become commonplace in our world. every minute of every day someone gives up. they see their world closing in around them, just like arnold did. they look frantically for a way out fast and they are willing to give up everything they have ever believed to get quickly out of their troubles. this is the arnold way of thinking. this is the wrong way of thinking. right now you could be facing troubles. right now you could believe that your world is closing around you. you want to give up or you want to do things that you are not supposed to do – to get out of these troubles. but you must never give up and you must always stay the course. you must be patient and you must be tolerant and you must be steady in your actions and you must be loyal to your principles. you must not throw it all away to find a quick fix. you will get out of these troubles only if you keep going and never give up. arnold made the wrong move and his lesson has served as a good reminder of what not do to. apply the arnold lesson to your life. things will get better if you only keep going and don’t give up.
sandbags
you need to keep putting the sandbags on the wall to keep the wall from breaking. this is what we do in life – we keep putting more and more sandbags on the wall. we must not let the wall break, we must find more sandbags, we must never give up on this one task. if we can’t find more sandbags and we can’t keep fortifying the wall – then the wall will crack and break and everything will come tumbling down upon us. this is the most dire of events that leads to the most drastic life changes – the loss of your house, the loss of your job, the loss of your family, the loss of your hope, the loss of a life – these are the things that happen when we stop putting sandbags on the wall of life. you must always search for sandbags – this search never stops until the day you die. if you keep searching and you keep trying, you will find those sandbags and you will help keep the wall intact. yes, cracks will appear in the wall – this is life. but, you must never let the wall collapse altogether. you must do what you have to do to keep the wall up and to keep the sandbags coming. a perfect wall does not exist – everyone must find sandbags to stop the cracks from getting bigger. whether it is a financial burden that is causing the cracks or an emotional burden – you must not stop what you are doing – you must tolerate the people and events around you to keep the sandbags coming – you must put up with things you want to give up on – you must tolerate being around people that you don’t want to be around. you must be calm and patient and tolerant – for the sake of keeping the wall together. you must do these things and you must learn to live through these things. that is why they say life is hard – because we all have to do things that we don’t want to do in order to keep the sandbags coming to keep each of our own walls from tumbling down.
everything but
riches. if you have everything but riches. if you have everything but wealth. if you have everything but financial security. if you have everything but you have debt. if you have everything but peace of mind. if you have everything but you have worries. if you have everything but you have doubt. if you have everything but you have an uncertain future. if you have everything but you have bills. if you have everything but not enough savings. if you have everything but not enough money for retirement. if you have everything but not enough money to move to a bigger house. if you have everything but not enough money for an expensive car. if you have everything but not enough money for name brand clothes. if you have everything but not enough money for elaborate trips. if you have everything but not enough money to stop working. if you have everything but not enough money to join a country club. if you have everything but not enough money to remodel your house. if you have everything but you always have to worry about money – then you have everything you will ever need and you are very lucky. if not getting rich is the worst thing that ever happens to you – then you struck the life lottery. congrats!