manners

are everything.  they are the foundation of human interaction.  to have good manners is to be already ahead of the pack.  you must say thank you and you must say please.  you must be courteous and grateful.  you must be self-deprecating and you must be humble and you must be patient -and you must try to listen to others when they speak and you must ask questions to show your interest in others.  you must know the proper table manners and you must know the proper conversation manners.  you must not curse too much – but a little at the right time is ok.  you can get very far on just manners alone.  but the best way to get these manners is from your parents.  if they know what manners are all about and they enforce them over and over – then you will be good.  if you don’t learn manners from your parents, then you must first know that your manners are bad and then must do something about it.  self-awareness is key if you are behind in the manners area.  some people do get through life well without manners.  they push their way through life and people with manners sometimes step aside to let these bulls push through life – and oftentimes these bulls go far and reach great heights – and having manners have nothing to do with their success or station in life.  but, they know deep inside because they were never taught manners by their parents, they must just take what they can in life – they have no choice.  but if you are fortunate to have been taught manners in life, then you must pass the manners process down to the next generation so that civilized people can continue to inhabit the earth – so that we do not become a society run by bulls.  you will be even more ready to say good-bye if you know that you did it with class and left no door unopened and no thank left unsaid.

“good morning”

you know – i never got into the groove of saying good morning – i didn’t get the concept behind it – and just would say – “hey, what’s going on” instead – which would confuse some people who took it literally.  i then realized that we need to say “good morning” when we see people in the morning – and not because we mean to tell them – ” i hope you have a great day!” – which we do kinda mean – but the real reason we should say it is to say to yourself – hey- you made it another day – you lived to see your loved ones another day – you lived to see the sun rise another day – you lived to have breakfast another day – you lived to have that glorious cup of coffee another day – you lived to smile another day – to laugh another day – to love another day.  it is because of all this that it is a good morning regardless of what else is going on in your life – it is a good morning to be alive for another moment of another day.  by saying “good morning” – it helps you say this to yourself – congrats – you are alive and it is a good morning if only for that one fact – which is the key fact of all.  so now i am going to say this to people…for my sake… and for them too.

stop cursing

i have had a dirty mouth since i was a kid.  i used to curse all the time just like the kid from the bad news bears.  i even had my mouth washed out with soap at summer camp.  maybe it was because my parents were divorced and it was another way to express my frustration or get attention.  either way, i still curse a lot, especially when i drink.  i am sure people look at me and grimace when i do this.  the point is i need to stop doing this once and for all.  it only makes me look like a fool.  i recently realized that it is a childish thing to do and i need to stop acting like i did when i was a kid.  it is not good for my kids to see me cursing all the time.  i will stop cursing around other people and my kids.  i will, however, reserve the right to curse around other folks that curse and if needed in a business environment to fire someone up.  it is part of who i am and will not kill it off altogether.

being famous

i think i am reaching a tipping point with this whole famous thing.  i don’t mean tipping point with becoming famous –i mean tipping point in that i think it really is a bunch of BS.  everyone points to famous people and say –wow –look what they have done.  but the reality is these are only a few people in the grand scheme.  we say they are successful, we say they are remarkable, we say they are special.  it is the “we” –the everyone else, that puts them there. why?  we don’t think we could ever do that?  we don’t think that we matter?  we don’t think that what we do is important?  this is the problem with society today.  we focus on these few individuals when we should be focusing on everyone else in the world.  we should focus on the people that fight the wars or the folks that build hospitals and houses or the teachers that help the kids or the individuals that build the roads or pick up the trash.  the point is — it is time to stop the idolization madness that began long ago –and start looking at the people of this world that actually keep things on track.  it is the everyman or the everywoman –it is time history knows about them and what they did in their daily lives to make a difference in this world.  enough of this preaching to the famous BS.

A Declaration Against Terrorism

As a citizen of the United States of America and of the civilized world, I do declare my will against all past and future acts of terrorism. I will do everything in my mortal power to fight deliberate acts of terrorism in my home, community and country. It is my duty as a member of civilization to fight against this unyielding continuous struggle. We must overcome our own personal fears of insecurity to defeat the leaders and followers of all terrorist movements across the world.

Since the beginning of recorded time and civilization, men and women have lived in fear of deliberate acts of terror. Whether at home or walking down the street or sitting in an office or school building, citizens have been living in fear. We will overcome this fear within ourselves to combat and defeat the modern enemy we call terrorism.

The terrorist attacks against the United States on September 11, 2001 mark a dramatic shift in American and world history. We are now entering a new era of unprecedented challenges that will continue to test our pride, dignity and resolve. From this day forward, civilized life will never be the way it was before. We will now have to be on constant alert to protect our homes, communities and allies from the inevitable onslaught of terrorist acts of violence.

Let us now realize the path we must take in order to stop future acts of terrorism. Let us now declare to ourselves and each other that we will forever fight to maintain our freedom and way of life by standing up against every single act of terrorism here in the United States of America and within the borders of our allies.

Thus, I reiterate my declaration to stand against any and all deliberate acts of terrorism. I declare to defend my family, my home and my country until the last breath of air leaves my body. I declare to use my last drop of blood in defense of these virtues and truths I hold so dear to my patriotic heart and soul.

 
Tyler Toby (Swampscott, MA)
September 19, 2001

 

Thanks to this site for keeping my original copy online so that I could find it and re-post it today:
http://www.kathyandtodd.com/weshallovercome/page6_p3.html

no guilt success

you know –it is a funny thing when you start to become successful – but your mind can’t handle it.  it is this whole guilt thing that lies on top of the mind like a wet blanket.  it obviously stems from this guilt ridden society that we now live and grow up in.  oh, we are made to feel guilty for some reason –about everything we do.  one area that is not discussed much are the pangs of guilt one feels as they grow more successful.  we still cling to the idea that we are not supposed to be this successful and we do not belong at this level.  it is crazy when you think about it –we own the process of becoming successful –pushing hard, never giving up, etc–but when we get that success from this process –we pull back and say –“hey –I don’t deserve this”.  and in return, these thoughts can actually start to hold us back a bit –i don’t deserve to make X, so I won’t ask for it –I will stay in my station.  this is BS and you need to break from this restricting mindset. you deserve everything you work for –just like the rest of those bozos driving around in fancy cars.  stop thinking and go get it!  now!

moderation

a funny thing happened at a party the other night –I was one of the first to leave.  sure, i was still having fun, and sure, i still had a buzz –but when i announced to the usual crew i’m checking out for the night –the folks were shocked.  what happened to the usual party guy?   the one that has been kicking it up the latest at parties for 20 years.  i realized that i wasn’t 20 anymore.  i realized that i don’t need to be the last to leave a party.  i can have fun to a point and not drink past the memory limit.  i can start to live in moderation from all aspects.  i have most of the other areas down for moderation –and just needed to dial down this area too.  can i still hit the high notes once in awhile –sure.  but i need to pull back a bit.  i need to be more moderate in this area–or it will bite me in the ass when i get older –it could shorten my life a bit –not good.  it is a new year –and i am going to practice moderation more–in all areas –drink, finance, spending, etc

forget the green grass

be grateful for what you have.  stop wishing for what they have.  look at what you have and see that what you have is great.  you are lucky.  yes, you have had some bad luck.  yes, the path has not been all roses.  yes, you did not strike it rich.  yes, you are not the most popular person to everyone.   yes, you have insecurities that drive you crazy.  yes, you are not perfect.  yes, you worry about what others think about you.  yes, you want to please everyone.  yes, you hate getting old and you hate seeing your kids getting old.  but guess what?  you have it pretty good.  you are alive,  you are still young enough where health issues are not a problem.  you might be lucky enough to have a family.  if you are, then this is the main reason to stop bitching and start thanking.  be happy for the little things that you have and for the fleeting moments that you have with your family.  cherish the nights with them, cherish the days with them.  you have friends too –be happy for that.  stop looking at the material world and saying “i want that”.  you have everything you need already –be happy with that.  tell your mind to stop.  yes, you want more success and yes, you want more money –but it will all come if you are patient.  stop thinking about how you want things to be and be happy with how things are.  you can’t please everyone –so let them deal with that fact.   just be happy –if you can.

bullied

wake up–you are being bullied!  if someone is intimidating you with their words or actions –you are being bullied.  if you think being bullied is the norm and suddenly your gut tells you something is wrong –then you need to listen to your gut and get out of the bullying situation.  sometimes you are engaged in an activity or sport –and you think that the experiences you are having are normal –but have no clue because it is your first time doing this activity or sport.  then one day a light bulb goes off that something is not right with this activity or sport –you feel fear or a need to be careful –which should not be the case –then you have stumbled upon an unusal situation where you could be under the influence of a bully –or someone that has a big ego and needs to prove this ego over and over.  now, this person on the whole might be a nice person –cracking jokes, etc –but when engaged in the activity or sport –goes beyond the norm –and inflicts pain on you –which is not the norm –then this is a bullying situation or ego pumping situation.  it is then not a controlled situation –and you could get hurt –so get out.  life is too short to hang around bullies.