so don’t sweat it. sometimes you debate what you are going to do today or what choice you have to make or what decision you have to make. but it doesn’t matter because whatever you are supposed to do will happen exactly the way it is supposed to happen. in other words – you already know what you are going to do or what decision you are going to make – these things have already been decided by you and your gut. when you hear about an event and you start to think about if you will go – the second you hear about it – you have instantaneously made your decision. your gut already knows yes or no – and you immediately know yes or no – you hear the answer in the back of your mind – but most of the time you blow right past it and you start debating yes or no – you go through this whole drawn out process – should i go or should i not go. stop stressing on these decisions because your gut already gave you the answer – so just take that answer and don’t sweat the results because your gut knows what is the right choice and what is the wrong choice. and by knowing this simple fact – you will save yourself unnecessary stress in life – and you will worry less about 1 more area in your life -and you will soon know that what you miss or what others think about your choices doesn’t matter in life. what matters is what is in front of you right here and right now – and who the important people are in your life -and the time you spend with them – because at the end of the day and at the end of your life – that’s all you got and that’s all you ever really had.
Category: Life
hang in there
you have to hang in there even when you don’t want to. you have to put aside all negative feelings and just do your job. you have to do things in life that you don’t want to do at the time. this is what is on your table right now – so smile and do it. to keep things on track, you have to bite your tongue and not say a word. people are counting on you and you must keep being there for them – for the people that pay your bills and for your family. this is along the lines of never giving up until the last moment when going on is not an option. this is a big part of life – doing things that you don’t want to do. if you hang in there and do what you have to do – at the highest level – then all things will come full circle and the days will eventually get better – but only because you did not give up and because you did what needed to be done. hang in there and do it.
cake
it is true – you can’t have your cake and eat it too. sure, you can try – but it is not advised. you can run it through your mind many ways in which you can have your cake, etc. – and you can come up with a solution most of the time. but in each of those solutions to have your cake, etc. – you inevitably hinder or hurt something or someone else. it will always be at someone’s expense when you attempt this. this will burn a bridge, leave a very negative impression and give you bad karma – it will come back around. so you need to make a choice – the cake or eating it. don’t be greedy – make a choice and live with it. the choice you make will always be better than trying to have both.
options
always have options. you must have options. you must think about options. you must plan for the unexpected or the expected. keep other options going. always tell people that you are open to other options. do not close any doors that could be a possible option. if you have options, you can then feel more calm – you can feel more at ease – knowing there are other options that you can choose if needed. never trust anyone 100% except your family and close friends. if you keep some doubt in your mind about your current situation, then you will create options. options are good. options are the keys to long-term success. options keep your train running – keep you on the path, keep the lights on, keep the family safe. if you do not have options, start to think about what could be options. you do not have to proactively search for options. you just have to keep your ears open – you have to keep your door ajar. continue to focus on your current work, but also be open to options. options allow you to move from one lily pad to the next in an easy, seamless way. have an option, have a lily pad.
getting through monday
look – we are all human. so we feel and think the same in many ways – whether in bangkok or toledo. and one of things that we all dislike to a certain extent is monday or the first day of the work week in your country. and if it is not monday for you – it is at least one day of the week. it is that day of the week where you feel blah and you just want to get through it – no matter how busy or bored you are during that day. you doubt yourself on that day more than any other day – and when you wake up the next day – you feel completely different – like you are ready for anything – you are confident and ready to go. but on that “bad” day – you might have negative thoughts or thoughts of hopelessness – and you want to avoid everyone until you are in a better mood the next day. how do you get through it. first -acknowledge that this is not your best day. 2nd – don’t make any big decisions on this day. 3rd – avoid conflict. 4th – think of what you will accomplish the next day. 5th – think about the end of the day and the things you will do as you wind down this day – getting closer to the next day so starting to feel better. ultimately you will have to go through these days over and over in life so you need a plan to get through them without any major problems. and you can’t avoid this day by not going to work, etc. – because the next day will then be the monday. you must start the monday like a normal monday – but you can then change it later in the day to make it better. so start the day as usual to check the box and feel the monday emotions and then start to shift out of the blues as the day progresses – following the 5 steps. some things are inevitable in life and we have to endure – so recognize it, endure it and move on.
new achievements
a funny thing happened on the way to my death – i discovered new things to do and i discovered new achievements and i discovered new feelings of satisfaction. wow, life is certainly full of surprises – and we all start to know that fact as we grow older. but, we also start to think that we should never be surprised by anything – as we see more and more things happen that we were not expecting. from the world view, this is true – we see triumph and tragedy every day in different ways – so we become used to the unexpected. but, on a personal level, in our own lives, we can still be amazed, wowed and excited. we all get into our daily routines, our daily interactions, our daily exercises, the sports we are used to playing, doing, etc. – and we don’t think about trying something new – we are content in our routines. but on a rare occasion we try a new sport or a sport we used to play as a kid. one thing leads to another and we find ourselves on a team for this sport – mostly for the camaraderie, the friendship aspect. and this provides some new experiences, some new connections. but then we find ourselves in a competitive game and we find ourselves digging deep to compete and possibly win this game – with our teammates – and when we do win a tight game – with a renewed effort, a renewed vigor – we feel a new type of satisfaction that we have not felt in awhile – it is a rush – it is a thrill – it is something we were not expecting and it makes life richer and fuller – and it reminds us why we are on this earth – to live! so if you feel something or someone pulling you in a new direction to get involved in something new, something renewed, something positive – say yes once in awhile – you might be surprised that there is something beyond the routine – that there are moments of exhilaration that you don’t want to miss out on.
why must we go on
we must go on because it is in our nature. it is in our nature to never give up, to fight to the finish, to give it all we got, to push through the hard times, to put up with things we don’t want to put up with, to work with people we really don’t want to work with, to see it through the end. we have to bite our tongues, we have to learn to cope, we have to block it out, we have to smile when we don’t want to, we have to adapt to our surroundings, we have to keep doing what we are supposed to do, we have to just do it. when you want to quit, when you want to walk out, when you want to give up, when you have had enough – you have to stop yourself and just go on and on and on. just keep doing what you are doing and good things will come or you will know when it is time to move on – when you have gone on enough. but for now, keep pushing on, keep going on, keep doing it. you never know, all your hard work could pay off or it might not. there is only one way to find out and that is to keep going on.
put it all on the table
don’t mess around when it comes to your life. put it all on the table. don’t fool yourself into thinking all is going well when it is not. put it all on the table. your job is not going well – you know it and your boss knows it. don’t hide from this fact. go to your boss and tell him how you feel. tell him you know that things are not going according to plan. tell him that we don’t want to waste each other’s time – that life is too short for that and that time & money should not be wasted. put a deadline down to either turn things around or move on. this is putting it all on the table. this is listening to your gut telling you enough is enough – make it happen or move on. move on to something that will work. life is not cookie cutter and you must progress and survive any way you know how. taking the risky job was a statement to yourself that you will take risks and you will go for those opportunities – but it is also a risk to put it on the table and to leave the risky job for the unknown. these are the times where you will be challenged the most. you have done this and you have done that – but you must keep going, you must keep taking the risks to get ahead – to have peace of mind in life – to wake up and breath a sigh of relief – that is what you are striving towards – so put it all on the table and keep doing so until that day of relief comes. and when it does – start all over again.
hopes & dreams
where do they live? they live in the places you would never visit in your daily path. they live in small depressed office buildings, in lonely garages on dead end streets, in parts of the city where trash is not picked up, where trees are not trimmed. no one goes here except the people who have no other choice or who have made the choice to try something new – to take a chance – to take a risk for success. when you start at the bottom, it isn’t pretty and it doesn’t smell good – and the people do not smile. these people are all just wandering through life, hoping that they will reach the next level. these people linger in the parking lot smoking away – staring off into the distance. these people sit in their offices and make long deep sighs all day – they are not sad, they are not happy, they are just there – hanging on by a thread to keep the lights on at home. when you walk around the parking lot, you don’t look each other in the eye – you are all in the same miserable boat. your office is a small collection of rooms – empty most of the time or just a few people staring at their computer screens. there is a fridge but not much in it – there is no sink or kitchen – you have to pour out your water outside or in the bathroom. there is a microwave in another empty room in the building – it is small and dirty. the day is the same every day with the occasional surprise or victory – but they are small victories and the big victory takes a long time to achieve or never comes at all. you wonder how did you get here and why are you here. you have bet your life on this job in this very small company with not much money. you only have your hopes and your dreams and your will to keep going. you will not quit until the day they fire you. you are sure that day will come soon, but are still holding out hope that what you are doing might actually succeed. until then, you will keep coming to this place, you will keep trying, you will keep dreaming, you will keep hoping.
10 deaths, 10 divorces
such is life, such are the odds and such are the individual destinies of us all. in the past 7 years, i have known 10 couples to divorce and 10 people that have died (in middle age or earlier). we all know that these things happen in life – and early on in life, we see these things happening from afar. but as you get older, as you hit the 40’s, 50’s – it comes crashing closer and closer to home. on the death front, you wonder why they went so early in life and you hold your dear ones closer – praying that you are not next and being more grateful for what you have in life – so stop complaining – you are not dead yet. on the divorce front – it is an even bigger shock sometimes. you see that perfect couple and divorce never even crosses your mind. but then one day you see the wife shoveling the snow or the husband not showing up at social events – and the signals start to mount. it is a shock to think that they went through all those years together, having kids, raising kids, building careers together, going through tough times – and then one day they quit the relationship – they fall out of love almost as quick as when they fell into it. this cannot be explained easily – why did this person wake up one day and say “I’m done”. most likely things were boiling under the surface for years – unknown to other person in the relationship and certainly unknown to the rest of the world. it is a tragedy that will affect many people in their world – especially the kids. and such is one of the big mysteries of life – one day we are happy and one day we are not.