Category: Family

it is sad, but you wanted the day to come –strange dichotomy.  you want them to get out of your hair, but then you miss them in the same thought.  when the last one goes off to elementary school, you enter a new phase in your life with your wife.  you had at least one of them around most of the time, but now, after 7 years the freedom begins again.  you get more things done, you start saving and making more money, you get better organized and the last 7 years seem like a blur raising them from cuddly babies to kids with a ‘tude.  they still cling, but not as much, they still whine, but not as much, they still cuddle, but not as much –the relationship has shifted, but if  you did indeed cherish all the key moments with them over the last 7 years –you should be ok.  it is like anything –memories fade, life goes on and you live moment to moment –with new surprises and new things to look forward to. but deep down you miss them –and you miss their time growing up more than you miss your own childhood –you remember their childhood more than your own -crazy how that works.  soon you will remember your grand-kids childhood more than your kid’s childhood –it is coming fast, but not so fast.  take a picture of your kid biking off to school –it will help in the future.

there is something about it that is hard to consciously discover –you know what i mean –you can’t put your finger on it.  i think i have it though.  it is the strange dynamic that is probably not unknown.  it is the balance that you hope naturally develops.  when they are babies, you look at them and you hug them and you kiss them over and over –it’s like a ball of joy that you look at all the time –you are infatuated with them –it is really a blissful time.  you never want this time to end, you never want them to grow up, you want to always hold them and keep them.  but something happens as they start to grow.  you start to see them as little people and a detachment from the baby infatuation starts to occur.  of course you still love them to bits, but it is a new type of love –it is a love that changes and grows with each year –it is better this way because to stay at the baby infatuation phase would not be good for the long run –it would make it much harder to let go when the time comes naturally.  this is why our love changes –to protect us and to protect the kids.  this is why when they whine, they now get on your nerves a bit –not like when they were babies –they never got on your nerves.  it is good that they get on your nerves, so that you can let them go more easily and so that you can transition into the empty nest stage.  you need to have a few rough spots with them–to help you let go –because when they are 18, you should want to let them go –this is why the adolescent stage is so tough on all involved –to break the infatuation bond –to be infatuated is not a healthy approach to life.  but, while you are in growing stages –relish every moment –get all that you can from it –then you will be ready to change –but enjoy these good old days –don’t let them pass without moments of joy –even though you have to say goodbye one day –it is a bitch that things happen this way –such a conflict of emotions –like trying to end this thought –can’t do it gracefully