Category: Family

don’t talk about money or finances all the time – especially at home.  look – you have this business whether you realize it or not – it is called the family business.  it is not the family business definition you know – where a family runs a business to make money in the outside world.  this is the business of running the finances for your family.  you have incoming and outgoing – they go up, they go down.  you have an active budget that needs reviewing and tweaking all the time.  this is your family business.  i am not going to get into the ins and outs of this family business in this post.  i am only going to focus on is when you discuss the family business with your family at home.  for the kids it is good to go over the family business so they have an understanding of responsibility, frugality, etc.  but for the spouse – yes you should discuss the family business on occasion but mostly to make sure bills are getting paid – money is coming in, etc.  you should not talk about the bills, the finances all of the time or everyday.  this will become a burden on the relationship and one that will lead to the ultimate demise of the partnership.  don’t talk about the family business that much – keep it to a minimum – because this will only lead to fights over things that will work on their own as long as you keep working and you keep paying your bills.  stop talking so much!

you must say you are sorry to loved ones very quickly.  do not wait to say you are sorry if you did something wrong.  it will only cause more damage to the situation and could possibly do long term damage to the relationship.  your gut is pushing you to say you are sorry – that is why saying sorry even came into your mind.  you know that you did something wrong – you were mean – you said mean things – you put someone down – you opened your mouth when you should have kept it closed.  you walked out the door and you knew immediately that you were wrong – your gut started to bombard you with thoughts of guilt – you were wrong and you need to say you are sorry immediately – send a note, make a call – just do it.  why wait around for it to fade away.  help you and the situation and say you are sorry.  you have done this so many times – you have made many mistakes.  you need to say you are sorry to your loved one and you need to try and learn not to do this again.  don’t push those buttons every time – let it go – don’t go there – don’t be mean.  now say you are sorry and learn from this.

of a teenager can be very challenging.  we have all heard this before and i am giving my 2 cents.  what we find as we engage with teenagers as a parent is pure frustration.  we see them acting as if they don’t care about what is going on or what you have done for them.  you get frustrated and you lash out at them.  you don’t realize what you are saying until later – it happens very fast – as you speak from your emotions.  but you do say mean things to them because you are appalled at their behavior.  when they were young, you scolded them, taught them a lesson and moved on.  now you get no response, they just glare at you – they want to defy you.  but you need to quickly realize that losing your temper is not the way to go – it can only draw deep lines between you and your kid – that could last a long time and cause lifelong discomfort.  yes, you do need to keep reprimanding them to teach them a lesson and keep them on the right track – but you must not say awful, mean things to them.  do it once, learn and then don’t do it again.  keep your calm during these years – show your disappointment, continue to teach – but don’t lose control and say things you will regret.  be the adult.

this is one of the keys to life.  you must live near some family.  make sacrifices to live near family.  we are on this earth for a short period of time and as you go through life, you quickly realize that it is family that will stick by you through everything.  yes you have friends and they are good to have – they provide another form of balance – but at the end of the day – you need that family – and you need that family nearby.  why nearby?  so you can experience life with them – so that you can have their support through the big things and the little things.  family enhances life, family makes life better, family gives you a reason to keep pushing on.  if all of your family is dead, then you shift this concept to friends.  but if you have some close family members still alive – pack up and move close to them now.  life is about living in the now while people are still alive – you need to live near them and you need to create memories – otherwise what is the point of living if not with your family nearby.  you might not get along with your family – still not an excuse to not live near them.  why- because if you have kids – it is good for them to live near your family – they need to grow up with some family around.  what is the point of living far away from your family – making more money?  not a good enough reason.  you could be laid off or drop dead tomorrow – where did more money get you? nowhere – because you have no family nearby to help you through the hard times.  get a grip and go live near family – otherwise you will regret it.  way back when – you were young and you loved your family.  because you are older now – does not change that one bit.  don’t judge – just love.  start packing.

one of the biggest fears in life is keeping your loved ones safe.  it is different than keeping yourself safe.  you do keep yourself safe by taking the necessary precautions, but you do not worry all the time about keeping yourself safe – as you have some control over that worry.  the one area where you have less control is when you want to keep your loved ones safe.  this is a big worry because you have little or no control, depending on the age of the loved one.  if it is your own children, you can do a good job of keeping them safe when they are young, but you still need to make sure they make the right choices when you are not around – cars, strangers, water, etc.  you have control, but obviously not complete control, so there is a hidden worry in your mind.  as your children grow older, you have less control in keeping them safe – so the worry grows and grows.  you can only rely on others keeping them safe when you are not around and you can only rely on your loved ones keeping themselves safe – like we all try to keep ourselves safe.  so the only way to help keep them safe is to teach them how to be safe from a young age.  don’t freak them out with too many scary scenarios that could happen, but help them understand the safe way to go about life.  yes, they will take risks when they are young, like we all do, – and those we can’t prevent entirely, but perhaps we can guide them to be less risky when taking action that could affect their safety – these are bodily harm risks, not the type of risks you need to take to reach your goals.  so teach them carefully and properly – and hope no harm will come – it is the only thing you can do

all we have is family memories in the early part of our lives.  this is a comfortable time – just you and the family living life together – creating memories together.  but like anything – time goes on and change from this tranquil state happens.  you start to experience life with others outside of your family.  this is a new time period in your life — and one that your family and you have to accept.  it will be hard at first – mostly for your family.  they will have to get used to the idea that you are creating memories without them – your original family.  this is life – and is only the first step you will make – moving slowing away from your family nest to become independent — where one day most of your experiences are not with your original family.  one can only accept this change, knowing that it is part of the natural process – even though it may hurt.  if you are part of the original family – you need to cherish and enjoy the moments when you have them.