birthday=reflection

when you are young, you don’t reflect on birthdays or any day – no need – just live.  but as you get older – as the birthdays pile up and the big day approaches each year – you become apprehensive, you get worried, you lose sleep – and each birthday becomes bitter sweet – yes you are still alive and that is good – but you then start to think about the past and you start to think about the future.  for the past – you look back and see if you are satisfied with what you have done and where you are at 39,49,59,69.  are you happy with where you sit at each birthday – is this what you thought you would be doing.  this then brings on visions of the shortening future – it is no longer halfway – it becomes less than half left – time is running out.  will you reach all of your goals before you die.  you need to use your remaining time wisely – you need finish the job right – you need to get to a point of calmness – you need to stop worrying – you still need so much – but you won’t get it all – you have to start to understand that – you are not exactly where you thought you would be – yes it is good overall – yes it could be better – yes it could be worse – you can reflect too much or too long – no point – time keeps going and so do you.  just get up and do what you need to do, what you want to do, what you have to do.  be with those that are good to you – get rid of the rest.  they are all racing towards the end just like you – not enough room in your mind or their mind for many other thoughts.  the only thought is to keep going.