life is a funny thing when it comes to friends. you start off like a romance –strong, fun, full of life and endless possibilities. you have the best laughs and share some great moments. you build up trust and get to know everything about each other. time goes on and you might meet some other new friends, but not as good as this friend. but you do spend time with these new friends and your old friend has other things to do as well. you spend less and less time with this friend until one day, your friend has said that you changed and we might as well go our separate ways. this does happen –but it is not the normal process. typically, you move on without acknowledging that things have changed–though it is harder to do this in a small community. the bottom line is that life is full of surprises and you should be prepared or unprepared for anything to happen –a death in the family, a financial windfall, a friendship fading away. you think to yourself – “i have not changed” –why would they say that? it is because the thoughts in their mind have changed. they think differently about the us –they think we have changed, when in reality it could be the other way around –the person saying “you have changed” is the one who has actually changed –or their perception of the friendship has changed. the bigger you make your circle of friends, the more chance of someone feeling left out. what can we do? nothing. we can only live our lives as life comes to us. it is sad, very sad when a friend says good-bye –but like a death, you must move on for yourself and your loved ones. ciao, it was fun.
Author: tobycode
get a college degree
we were mean
when you were young, you were mean to people. yes, we are all nice people and have nice friends. yes, we had fun growing up, making many friends, laughing all the time. but guess what –we didn’t please everyone all the time. we did step on some toes, we did piss some people off. and this is because our minds were still growing. we would say things without thinking –and these things would sometimes hurt people. we acted mean towards others to impress others –this is what high school kids do without even thinking. so what does this mean? it means that first we must not hold guilt because we acted this way –we were trying to survive in the high-pressure environment of school –we had no choice but to go with our instincts. if you see someone from your past that you were mean to –say your sorry –why not. chances are most people won’t even remember because you are not all they talk about. but, there will be people that do remember and will always think of you as an ass. not much you can do about that. one big thing you can do is talk to your kids –tell them not to be mean to others –because they will –it is human nature. tell them that hurting others to impress others is not the way to go –be nice and be yourself. help your kids and help yourself in this area.
why be remembered?
you know why we should be remembered –because we go through this whole thing called life and then we just die in the end. i mean what is the point of living if not to be remembered. i guess if we only live for the moment, then that is why we don’t care if people remember us or if history remembers us. i guess if we are not alive to see people remember us, then it doesn’t matter if we are not remembered –what do we care. these are all good points and many can live by them–and die by them. but, what if we want to convey what we learned to our kids and grandkids –and the rest of society –you know–so they can learn from what we learned in life. this could be one very small reason why we should want to leave some things behind besides a will and a corpse. we might also want our relatives, friends, etc to see what we looked like, to hear our words, to know what we thought about things. perhaps this is a better reason to leave your mark behind. the other reason might be to make sure history records your life the way you want it recorded. this could give you some extra peace of mind on the way out. for a few brief minutes of your time, would you do a few steps to be remembered by history? would you take a few more steps beyond that to save things for your family and friends. maybe —and maybe not. after all, what do you care, really? you will be dead and who cares when one is dead. this is the question –do you care enough to care?
words vs actions
there are so many instances in life where we come up with what we think are great ideas. we think that we need to act on these ideas. we think that we need to fulfill our destiny by acting on these ideas. we think that these ideas will take us away from the mundane lives we live and to the place where we will love what we do. these are our dreams and we want to make them come true. we see our life being full and satisfied. we see a rainbow at the end of the tunnel. we see closure in life being achieved. but the problem is we don’t act on these thoughts. we don’t act on these ideas. we don’t act on these dreams. we don’t act because we are afraid. we don’t act because we are comfortable in our life and we don’t want to risk this level of comfort we have achieved. we don’t act because we want the dream to come true, but don’t quite believe it is the path we should take. we have doubt about going out on a limb. so we don’t act. we just dream. and then we get old and die. dream unfulfilled, but comfort kept intact. what is more important at the end of the road –staying comfortable or taking risk and possibly fulfilling dream? most will choose former –what will you choose?
stop recording my life
facebook! who gave you permission to record my life? who are you? how did you get involved in my life? you act as a meeting place where friends and family can gather. you put up the front of being a familiar place -like my old high school, my old neighborhood, my old house –so very comfortable and soothing. this is all a front to record my life and pull me in to present my life to my friends and family–but also to you. you are watching my every move. you are recording my every moment. you are now in my life and are actually recording my life. stop recording my life. you should not be recording my life. who gave you permission? because i use your platform to talk to friends, you think you can take my data and record it back to me. i will record my own life and i will leave my own mark the way i want to leave it. i will not conform the story of my life to your parameters. where is the button to turn off this “timeline” thing? this is your master plan. gather, gather, gather –then publish my life and billions of others. get out of our lives and stop recording now — pause the program.
don’t talk about others
you know we all do it. but when we do it, we reveal a part of ourselves that most don’t know about. people would be shocked to hear what you have to say about them behind closed doors. but the reality is you are doing yourself a disservice in the process. you are letting yourself down by saying mean things about others and then being nice to their face. you need to make both experiences the same – do not have conflicting thoughts about a person. imagine this…… you say something about someone and then immediately think that person heard you. you then panic and think –“what an ass i am” –but are you saying that about yourself because you think you are caught and now your other self will be revealed. you are acting selfishly because if you did not think you were caught, you would go on as normal –still talking shit about people. so–you feel bad and you say you will change. but it turns out the person did not hear and you can still keep your other thoughts a secret. you can go back to your old ways of talking shit….and most of the time you do. but you shouldn’t –this should be viewed as a close call and a warning to stop this BS. so, stop talking shit and bite your tongue once in a while. get in this habit of not talking about others so much and it will make everything more positive.
get hands dirty
you must get your hands dirty to accomplish anything in this world. in other words –stop standing around waiting for others to do the job –because they won’t. you must get in there and make it happen. you must do the small jobs on your own and not delegate others to do it –because they won’t. if you start a job and then come up with a plan –and then do not do the things that the plan requires –you will fail. you must get in there and do every little thing that the plan requires. don’t be someone who draws up a plan and then expects others to do the plan. you must do the plan. you must get your hands dirty. yes, it is tedious work. yes, you believe that you have reached a point in your career where you don’t need to get your hands dirty anymore. wrong! if you are the ceo and shit needs to be done –then do it. just keep doing what you have to do to succeed. at the end of the day –if you want to keep getting paid –you must find a way to get things done. if this requires you to get your hands dirty over and over –just do it. waiting for someone else will lead to your failure. get your hands dirty –end of story. oh–and don’t complain so much. this is just another attempt to avoid getting your hands dirty. another way to failure.
accountability
if you don’t have it, you ain’t worth shit. really folks –if your word is no good, then it is going to be a long road for you. you must be true to your word. you must follow through with what you say. you must not break your word. you must not scuttle your promises. if you say it will happen at this time on this day –then, by shit, it better happen…..unless you have a death in the family. that is the only thing that should prevent you from keeping your word. because if you do decide to not be accountable for what you say you are going to do –then your life will end up worth no more than a pile of …. do you get it? be accountable or be non-committal. and being non-committal is no way to live a life. again –another pointless ending. so take the easy road which is actually the harder road –be accountable. it will be harder to be accountable, but it will make your path much easier. comprende?
do it when you shouldn’t
you know what i mean? not really?? ok –listen closely. you know how most of the time you shouldn’t do things? this could be because you shouldn’t waste the money or the time, right? you need to save the money for a rainy day. you need to be more conservative in your actions so that you are covered in the future. that is all good –and is true for the most part. but guess what? you could drop dead tomorrow. and you will know folks that do just that….too soon. and each time someone does, you need to remind yourself that could have been you. and all the fretting about not doing something because your shouldn’t –that all goes out the window. so when you decide to throw that big bash at your house, but you could use the money for something else. think about how you could drop dead tomorrow. think about how you want to look back and say we had the most fun spending the money, when we shouldn’t have. someone said all we really have is this moment right now. we don’t have the past, we don’t have the future. we have this moment right now. so once in awhile you should live like you could drop dead tomorrow –because you could! what is it all for? it is for thinking about the future a bit –but it is also about thinking about now –it’s all you have that is guaranteed –right now. go do it, go live.